Saturday, 4 February 2012

England's Got Good News

I used to always hate watching the News.

Before the life of marriage, when I was a single independent working woman and my parents were my housemates, I would come home after a long day of work, sit down to a full home cooked dinner and dine with my breeders accompanied by the evening news.  I always looked forward to sitting down and catching up with my parentals about the day's events and digesting home cooked goodness....but then my satisfied mind would soon be corrupted by all that the TV displayed.

Being a lover of all things animated and happy, everytime I watched the news, I discovered that the world wasn't the happy place I always dreamt it to be.  EVERY single day, I would sit down to dinner and learn on the telly that ANOTHER person has been stabbed, there has been another shooting in a neighboring city, ANOTHER child had become missing, people got burgled, etc, etc, sad, depressing, disturbing.  Another thing that got me was that, 99% of these instances took place in cities 30 minutes away....some even in my own hood.

I used to always vent to my parents that I wanted to move out of Cali, because life was just too damn G H E T T O for me over there.  I mean, I started to be afraid to walk to my car after choir practice at night, I hated going to the neighboring mall all by myself because someone might try to stab me, I was even scared to honk at people on the freeway because of all the shootings I heard about because of someone honking.  It was muy reDONKulous.

Welp, now I'm married, living overseas....and the News and violence are like teddy bears and candy in a happy little field.

First of all, the events in the news about my neighboring city rarely gets a spot in the paper.  The stuff that happens over here is as boring as fungus growing on a tree.  Yeah, we do get a random arrest or stabbing scattered once or twice a year, but it's child's play.  And that makes me happy.

I mean, the biggest thing in the news right now is David Beckham's new underwear line and his HUGE billboard in posted in London.

And quite frankly...I think all news should be about something like so....jus sayen....

Also....another thing in the news that was quite the debate was the ban of this beer name Hotty Totty in council or something like that.  They wanted to ban the beer because they thought the name was degrading to women and apparently it was a huge discussion and such. had me snickering at work because the things they were saying were all minor and child's play....and I liked it.

Stabbings are a rarity, shootings are just unheard of.  I mean, to show you how safe it is over there, the cops don't  even carry guns.  They went all Demolition man and are armed with their trusty baton.  When my hubby and I decide to act young and go out in town to party hardy, by the end of the night, instead of seeing dozens of police lights, and drunkies beating the hell out of eachother, you see belligerent British blokes who can't hold their liquor being scolded by an unarmed cop like a parent and the drunk punk complying with them.  It's CUH RAAAAZEEE!!!!

I mean, the way the cops yell and manhandle the drunkies is totally unheard of in the states.  The fuzz have no problem shoving these guys, pushing them up against the wall, yelling all kind of bad stuff at them.  I mean, if a cop back home were to attempt that with a citizen, ooooo boy....LAWSUIT!  Reals.  But like I said, these blokes comply with the abusive cops and go home to mummy and daddy.

But anyways, yeah.  It's pretty dang safe over here, and quite frankly I must say, because of the lack of violence, I'm a happier person and my life is fill with rainbows and unicorns again.

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