Sunday, 23 May 2010

De Hoe's

 Oh skanky hoes, you can be so funny sometimes.....

So last Thursday, the hubby, some friends, and I decided to grace our presence at a nightclub in Newmarket.  Now before I go any further, let me add some background about Newmarket by day here.  There you go.  :)

Now, Newmarket by night, is a totally different story.  There are 2 huge nightclubs there.  One called Innocence (pretty ironic, which you will soon find out why), and the other called Di Nero's.  When I first got here, many girlfriends were telling me not to let Rick go to these 2 clubs alone.  Why?  That's exactly what I asked.  Well according to them, these 2 places are known to hold a plethera of skanky British hoes trying to catch them a hungry for ass military man.  When I first heard these accusations against these clubs, I was just thinking in my head that naw, It's probably not that bad.  They're probably just jealous and controlling....haha...yeah.

 I finally got my chance to judge one of the clubs.  Di Nero's AKA DeHoes.  As soon as I set foot in this place, the giggles, and "Oh my Lord, No she didn't's" continued to invade my mouth for the entire night.  Lordy, all I saw in front of my face were girls 18-21 dressed in either mini skirts that barely covered their non-existant asses, jean booty cutters that looked like underwear, tops that were so low that they might as well have walked around topless, and clunky heels that made it look like they were walking on 6" marshmallows.  Also, it seemed every girl was attached to a horny military guy that thought his grinding moves were quite sexy, when in actuality they looked like a piece of rubber band moving slightly off meat to the music.

My God, I really thought that all these girls gave us respectful woman a bad name.  I mean, the way they presented themselves was horrid.  It was sad, really.  There were these 2 gals dancing on the stripper poles in the main dance room, and OMG, they might have as well been filming a porno.  They were making sweet love to these poles with their seductive dance moves.  What was even worse, was the sight of the hungry men drooling and gawking at the bottom of the stage.  I wanted to take a picture of these amateur pole dancers, but as soon as I put my camera up, I all of a sudden felt like a lesbian and felt very uncomfortable.

 I swear, every corner I went were young women dancing very suggestively, and every so often checking out the scene to see if they were being watched by a dude.  I felt sorry for them that they had to stoop this low.

Despite all the disappointing skanky women, I did get a few good laughs.  I mean, although the chicas were dancing all seductively, it didn't mean they looked all graceful and pretty.  I actually thought they looked like they were hurting when they were dancing.   It's like they were concentrating so hard on trying  to look sexy, that they forgot there was music to dance ALONG to.  Also....because of their revealing clothing, they were constantly trying to pull up or down their apparel.   Another thing that made me laugh were the military dudes that thought that it was so bright in the club that they had to wear their sunglasses.

Straight Comedy.  

One more thing....I had to add this in.  I thought it was pretty Goddam awesome for this club to have a punching machine and a cigarette and lighter vending machine.  What was even cooler was the fact that guys actually did play with this punching game machine thingy.  Entertainment, really.


Chela said...

what's wrong with wearing stunnas in the club? LMFAO!!!!!! hahahaha!

Raymond said...

Without the pics, I cannot make an objective opinion. :)